what happens when you love so much it burns?

dad broke the news to me while i was drifting in and out of dreamland. NY is very ill now and requested to see us and we are still waiting on approval from authorities. i am in shock over the news and it feels like this is happening all over again. i am not sure if i have it in me to go through this a second time.

Manage me, I’m a mess
Turn a page, I’m a book
Half unread

I wanna be laughed at
Laughed with, just because

I wanna feel weightless
And that should be enough

But I’m stuck in this fucking rut
Waiting on a second hand pick me up
And I’m over, getting older

If I could just find the time
Then I would never let another day go by
I’m over, getting old

Maybe it’s not my weekend
But it’s gonna be my year
And I’m so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere
And this is my reaction
To everything I fear
Cause I’ve been going crazy I don’t want to waste another minute here

Make believe that I impress
That every word
By design
Turns a head

I wanna feel reckless
I wanna live it up, just because

I wanna feel weightless
Cause that would be enough

If I could just find the time
Then I would never let another day go by
I’m over, getting old

Maybe it’s not my weekend
But it’s gonna be my year
And I’m so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere
And this is my reaction
To everything I fear
Cause I’ve been going crazy I don’t want to waste another minute here

This could be all that I’ve waited for
(I’ve waited, I’ve waited for)
And this could be everything
I don’t wanna dream anymore

Maybe it’s not my weekend
But it’s gonna be my year
And I’ve been going crazy
I’m stuck in here

Maybe it’s not my weekend
But it’s gonna be my year (it’s gonna be my year)
And I’m so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere (go nowhere)
And this is my reaction
To everything I fear (everything I fear)
Cause I’ve been going crazy I don’t want to waste another minute here

what i hate more than lizards are guessing games. so if you have a problem, tell me or suck it up like a real man. not gonna sit around trying to pick your brain.